More than Once

When I was 24 years old, I moved to Haiti, a small country in the Caribbean. It is the poorest country in the Western Hemisphere. To me, Haiti is a place where there is much suffering, but also much joy.

I lived there for three years. Many times, I thought about how crazy it was that I was living my dreams in my twenties. Some people never get to pursue their dreams in their lifetime and here I was living it at my quarter century mark. What is next? I used to think. How could God possibly outdo Himself here? I thought that the Lord could be good to me only one time. My vision was so small.



It took me three years after I left Haiti to trust the Lord for this next adventure. Now I am living on the other side of the world. A new community. A different organization.

It is incredibly hard to be in a new place with a new community. But it seems that the Lord can outdo Himself. Not because this is better, but because once again, He has been good to me. He doesn't stop blessing and loving His children. He is good more than once. He is good again, and again, and again. It is His nature - goodness, faithfulness, kindness, mercy. He gives good gifts to His children. Even in the midst of struggle and hardship, He has something good, because that is who He is. He never stops being good. He never grows tired of it. I am the one who might grow tired of opening my hands to receive His goodness, but still He pours out His blessings upon my closed fists.

I'm often nostalgic for the first time and place where I lived this kind of life. And yet, God is doing something new here. Isn't He always doing something new? He doesn't stop moving. He doesn't stop calling us forward. He doesn't stop calling us deeper.

He also doesn't stop knowing my heart. He gave me two coconut trees to hang my hammock between. He gave me a yellow house with a front porch and a garden - a fruit garden instead of a flower garden, on a different continent than I expected, but still He knows my heart. He gave me children to teach me the local language. He gave me new friends in new places.

This time I am living in a house in a neighborhood, instead of a big community with many buildings and facilities. This is something that I have dreamed about. To have real neighbors and a real home. Simplicity. Freedom. Taking public transportation. Trying to cook local food.

Lately, I have been wanting to live my life in a different, new way. Even in the midst of challenges and difficulties, I want to believe the Lord for big and beautiful things in my life, today. I want to dream new dreams, with trust that He has my happiness and desires in His heart. This means to live in challenging ways, to take bigger risks, to love more, to not be afraid anymore. To trust that He is good more than once. He is good today, in the present moment. Today, right where I am, He has good gifts for me. Lord, let my hands and my heart be open to receive them.

What would happen in my life if I really believed every day that my God is the good Father that He says He is? This is what I want to find out.

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